Build it and They Will Come, Follow Up?

This Isn’t What You Signed Up For…

Or Is It?

Couple of housekeeping items to begin.

1. Day 6 of 90 questions in 90 days is at the end of this writing (the new series I launched for you)

2. This week’s newsletter isn’t what you’re used to.

No opening jingle.

No coffee mug.

No follow up scripts.

No follow up frameworks.

No steps one through three.

No coffee mug.

Instead, I’m trying something new.

You’ve probably heard the famous line from the movie, Field of Dreams:

"If you build it, they will come."

It sounds inspiring, but here’s the hard truth-it’s dead wrong.

More on that in a moment…

My wife challenged me a few days ago.

I accepted her challenge.

And this newsletter might backfire because of that.

You might think it’s a breach of your inbox…

Not what you were expecting.

If that’s the case, I understand.

But her challenge is exactly why I’m writing this.

Because building isn’t about playing it safe.

Opening up, having humility, and expressing raw facts in building, builds deeper understanding.

So here it is.

The life I haven’t shared with you before.

The Old Version of Me

I wasn’t always That Follow Up Guy.

Well, I certainly followed up…but maybe on the wrong priorities.

You’ll read about that down below.

For most of my life, I was someone else, entirely.

I was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Still live here.  

My mom died of ovarian cancer when I was 10.

She was 32.

I barely had a relationship with her.

She was out of my life from around the time we got in a wreck together…

Before I turned 6, I almost died-twice.

Once in a car accident that left a scar on my face.

That was the wreck with my mom.

I was knocked out for days.

Another time, nearly dead from asthma attacks.

Then, baseball saved me.

It gave me purpose at age 10.

At the same time my mom passed and got me through to college.

But then?

I started blacking out drunk.

Missing games.

Waking up fully clothed on the beaches of San Francisco, sand in my teeth while my teammates were in a nearby city playing baseball.

By 19 I quit.

Moved back home to Vegas, and got my first ever job on the strip at Fiamma Italian Restaurant inside the MGM (no longer there)

Shortly after, I tried modeling in Los Angeles, that lasted about 10 months total.

We actually caught the photos at my dad’s place a few weeks ago.

Was worth a good family laugh.

I was 21.

Upon my return Vegas… I got started working in restaurants before moving on to nightlife.

And chasing every VICE you can imagine.

I was jacked up.

Alcohol, blackouts, cocaine, molly, ecstacy… nightly.

Gambling money I didn’t have at the tables, in the machines, sports betting.

Stripclubs, parties, nightclubs, dayclubs, dance festivals.

For a decade… I burned my life down.

From 19 to 29 to be exact.

And weirdly enough, in the middle of all of it…

I became the owner of three restaurants here in Vegas.

Raised investor money, bought 2 of them, started a 3^rd from scratch.

Two wings wine, beer and burger joints and one create your own milkshake shop.

I lost them all within a year and a half.

I filed bankruptcy.

Moved back in with my dad.

Lost my girlfriend.

Had my car repossessed.

And truly was at a low low very low point.

Oh, and I had to get a job as a food and beverage host at then, McCarran International Airport.

I was 26.

Then, right before my 30th birthday, I made the decision to get sober.

I needed change.

I was losing way too often.

I wrote a book about that chapter of my life:
"loss VEGAS – The Art of Finding Joy in Sin City."

It has some jaw dropping stories.

I’m damn glad I made it out.

I Was Saved

Looking back, I should have died, been arrested, or at the very least, had my life completely derailed.

Yet somehow, I got lucky.

It was destiny.

My mom didn’t get a second chance, I did.

And it was only in my sobriety that I tapped into this.

No DUIs.

No car wrecks.

No arrests.

Nothing.

Surviving a car wreck at 5 years old meeting the white space…

That wasn’t skill-that was grace.

And even after getting clean, as the days would pass, it was one constant cleansing and purging of old conditioning.

I’ll spare you ALL of the demons I had to rid, but one thing for this purpose of today…

I had to face another truth:

I had become entitled from a life of handouts.

I grew up as an only child, in a low-income family, but still got what I wanted.

We didn’t have money, but my dad found a way.

My dad is my hero.

A single father after divorce with my mom, then her passing.

I look back on that journey and realize how tough that is/was.

He ALWAYS Believed in me, every twist and every turn.

Told me to get back up and let’s keep going son.

Now, he travels with me everywhere so I can show him the life I’ve been fortunate enough to experience these last several years.

Sorry, I digress.

Back to the entitlement…

My wealthy aunt would offer me money when she’d come visit from Europe.

In Vegas…I got paid to party.

I went out routinely because I worked in the clubs…

Free drinks.

Free nights out.

VIP treatment.

All. the. time.

Tons of bad habits being built.

Despite all of this I was still on the hunt for this entrepreneur to reveal himself at some point.

I expected things to come easy.

And for a long time, they did.

And if they didn’t, I was offended.

How dare they not take care of me.

I expected things without earning them.

The Entitlement Experience

This isn’t just my story.

It reminds me of something Robert Greene wrote in The Laws of Human Nature:

“More of us than ever operate as if we are royalty. We feel entitled to respect for our work—no matter how much we have accomplished.

We feel people should take our ideas and projects seriously, no matter how little thought went into them or how meager our track record.

Some of this modern form of entitlement might come from especially being spoiled by our parents, who made us feel anything we did was golden.

Some of it might come from the technology that so dominates our lives and spoils us as well.

It gives us immense powers without having to exert any real effort.

Whatever the cause, it infects all of us and we must see this sense of entitlement as a curse.

It makes us ignore the reality-people have no inherent reason to trust or respect us just because of who we are.

It makes us lazy and content with the slightest idea or our first draft of our work.

Why do we have to raise our game or strain to improve ourselves when we feel we are already so great?

We must realize we are actually in a weak position and must struggle to adopt the opposite attitude.

We expect nothing from the people around us.

We are not defensive or sitting back but completely active.

Everything we get from others, and most definitely their respect, must be earned.”

Earning It Every Day

When I started That Follow Up Guy, it was a realization.

This past summer, my wife and I had a big fight… to the edge of needing some time away from each other.

And that forced me to do something I needed to do, again.

Look in the mirror.

Reflect.

Go inside myself.

I saw a man who was still clinging to old habits.

In that reflection I realized I wasn’t working on the thing that brought me the most joy.

So, I had to right…

1. My marriage.

And

2. My new business direction.

Those were the two areas I was dead set on improving.

Your business. Your sales. Your future. Your family.

It’s all on you.

No handouts.

No shortcuts.

No waiting for things to happen.

But wait, I was waiting yet again for it to “just happen”

Or, did I have to go out an make it happen.

I spent 30 days on my own combing through the process to revive my relationship.

It worked.

We’re happier than ever.

I committed to the trenches for That Follow Up Guy.

I’m in the trenches.

Building this thing brick by brick, follow-up by follow-up.

And here’s what I’ve learned:

Follow-up isn’t just about tactics.

It’s about this relentless pursuit to earn a seat at the table.

I had to follow up on my desire to maintain my marriage.

I had to follow through on my commitment to the marriage in the first place.

I had to follow through on this decision I made to go out and build a business.

Remember, for decades, I expected people to hand me things.

I was conditioned this way.

And I had to change it, fast.

I expected people:

To respond.

To hand me opportunities.

To walk up and hold out their credit card ready to buy.

But that’s not how this works.

People don’t owe you trust.

They don’t owe you a response.

They don’t owe you their business.

You must earn it.

Every email.

Every call.

Every message.

Every follow-up.

If they don’t respond, it’s not about them.

It’s about me.

Did I make it worth their time?

Did I spark enough curiosity?

Did I earn the right to another conversation?

What have I done, or what am I doing to earn it?

Why You Should Give a Shit

Yes, that’s a bad word to some.

I see a lot of salespeople making the same mistake I held on to for too long.

They send one follow-up and expect a response.

They assume a great pitch means someone should reply.

They get frustrated when prospects “ghost” them.

But here’s the thing…

What makes you so entitled?

So full of yourself to believe that you deserve it without earning it…?

You don’t deserve a reply or a response… “just because.”

Just because you showed up.

Just because you sent one follow up.

You have a pretty website.

You have a solid company you work for.

Just because you had success in the past.

Let me share something else.

I have always been extremely blessed since getting sober.

And I do not want to ever let my head get to high that I let my feet leave the ground.

I got brought in to travel the country and speak on over 300 stages.

I have some of the biggest and best names in sales and business as my friends and mentors.

I was responsible for working celebrity accounts competing against masterclass after starting in a phone room smiling and dialing.

I’ve interviewed great business leaders and public figures for a parked podcast I stopped in order to build this.

And while I know I could ride those waves many years later, I’ve realized I was riding their waves.

Their social and business equity.

Now, today?

I don’t have that luxury of their businesses backing me anymore.

It’s me.

Guess what?

I cannot be entitled because of those fortunes and blessings.

I have to remain humble.

I have to earn it.

On my own.

With lots of support of course.

But it’s on me.

I took this chance.

And I have to be realistic with what it is going to take…

And when you get the business?

You don’t stop.

Because the second you take leads, prospects, customers for granted, they stop coming back.

Just like in Field of Dreams, you don’t just “build it” and expect people to come.

You build it.

You prove it.

You refine it.

You fight for it.

You fight for it some more.

And some more.

And only then, do they come.

And if you build it well?

They might just stick around and keep coming back.

Maybe invite their friends, too.

Wrapping Up

My wife’s challenge to me was simple:

“Go out and earn their trust.”

That’s my mindset every day while I figure this thing out.

And if you’re serious about getting better at follow-up…

I encourage you to do the same.

Let’s build it the right way.

Let’s earn it.

Let’s make it worth it.

And lastly, let’s have fun in the process.

See you next week follow up fam.

Manny

PS. Here is your Day 6 Question of 90 questions in 90 days.